The impact of moms on body image

While we were still reading The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao, there was this one quote that stuck out to me. Lola, the sister of the main character, had been staying at her grandmother's house in the Dominican Republic for over a year, and she talks about her experience being constantly criticized by her mother.

"And then the big moment, the one every daughter dreads. My mother looking me over. I'd never felt more beautiful and desirable in my life, and what does the bitch say? 

Coño, pero tú si eres fea.

Those fourteen months--gone. Like they'd never happened." 

At this point in the novel, Lola had been making improvements to her life--she joined her school's track team, met her boyfriend Max, and had a good relationship with her grandma. However, when she was reunited with her mom, it only took one sentence (her mom calling her ugly) for all of Lola's progress to disappear and her confidence to spiral down again.

Interestingly enough, around the time we were reading this novel was when we had "etc day" at New Trier. Etc day was when students could teach their own classes about anything that interests them. One of the classes I took was called "Social Media and Body Image." Even though the focus of the class was about social media (as the name implies), the teacher brought up the fact that statistically (after having conducted interviews with students) teenage girls tend to get more depressed or lose self confidence after hearing appearance-related comments from their mothers, whether they be positive or negative.

Although I would assume most moms in the New Trier district wouldn't blatantly call their daughters ugly like Lola's mom did, their words still do have an impact on the confidence of their daughters. This makes sense because I think many girls see their mom as a role model and seek approval. What I find interesting is that just one comment can instantly lower confidence, a parallel to how Lola's mom's comment completely deleted her 14 months of progress. Why are girls' self confidence so fragile? I think much of this issue has to do not only with the images set out by the media, but also just the ideals of American society. In our society, physical appearance is considered very important. In fact, it is so important that people become consumed in the idea that there is an ideal body image (one that is basically unattainable) and just assume they will never be able to match up. That's a big confidence breaker.