The impact of moms on body image

While we were still reading The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao, there was this one quote that stuck out to me. Lola, the sister of the main character, had been staying at her grandmother's house in the Dominican Republic for over a year, and she talks about her experience being constantly criticized by her mother.

"And then the big moment, the one every daughter dreads. My mother looking me over. I'd never felt more beautiful and desirable in my life, and what does the bitch say? 

Coño, pero tú si eres fea.

Those fourteen months--gone. Like they'd never happened." 

At this point in the novel, Lola had been making improvements to her life--she joined her school's track team, met her boyfriend Max, and had a good relationship with her grandma. However, when she was reunited with her mom, it only took one sentence (her mom calling her ugly) for all of Lola's progress to disappear and her confidence to spiral down again.

Interestingly enough, around the time we were reading this novel was when we had "etc day" at New Trier. Etc day was when students could teach their own classes about anything that interests them. One of the classes I took was called "Social Media and Body Image." Even though the focus of the class was about social media (as the name implies), the teacher brought up the fact that statistically (after having conducted interviews with students) teenage girls tend to get more depressed or lose self confidence after hearing appearance-related comments from their mothers, whether they be positive or negative.

Although I would assume most moms in the New Trier district wouldn't blatantly call their daughters ugly like Lola's mom did, their words still do have an impact on the confidence of their daughters. This makes sense because I think many girls see their mom as a role model and seek approval. What I find interesting is that just one comment can instantly lower confidence, a parallel to how Lola's mom's comment completely deleted her 14 months of progress. Why are girls' self confidence so fragile? I think much of this issue has to do not only with the images set out by the media, but also just the ideals of American society. In our society, physical appearance is considered very important. In fact, it is so important that people become consumed in the idea that there is an ideal body image (one that is basically unattainable) and just assume they will never be able to match up. That's a big confidence breaker.

"Humans of New York" Photographer Travels to Iran

Recently I have been following a photographer who keeps a blog/organization called "Humans of New York." Brandon, the photographer, walks the streets of the city, taking portraits of people he finds interesting. Recently, Brandon visited Iran for the first time. Following his work on Facebook, I saw that after returning to the US, he made a post starting "ON TRAVEL TO IRAN:"
This post mentioned that "The US government advises against all travel to Iran." I found this interestimg because in America, there tends to be a negative connotation with Middle Eastern countries because of the War on Terror. Many people are probably afraid to travel to Iran and the government just reinforces this fear with the travel warnings.

On the other hand, Brandon from Humans of New York tells his audience to take the government's advice with a grain of salt. He said, "You can greatly enjoy a country, while at the same time disagreeing with it’s government." Brandon's work reflects his ideas. All of the pictures on his blog are of people in Iran. Based on his posts, he learned a lot about Iranian culture while experiencing it firsthand on his trip. I like that he is encouraging Americans to keep an open mind.  If some Americans faced fears and traveled to countries they are more hesitant about,  they too would experience more culture and traditions of people all over the globe. Knowledge is the first step to understanding. This leads to respecting different cultures, and would elminate much of  the animosity towards them.

Here are the links to the Humans of New York website and Facebook Page.
http://www.humansofnewyork.com/tagged/iran
http://www.facebook.com/humansofnewyork?fref=ts

Here are some of Brandon's photos from his trip:

Marginilization at Oberlin College

Last week, my sister, Rachel, told me that classes at her school, Oberlin College in Ohio were cancelled due to the fact that someone was standing outside the African American Heritage building wearing a Ku Klux Klan uniform. Besides that being the most severe event, other racist acts on campus had been reported. This blog is a Tumblr titled "Oberlin Microagressions" and its purpose is to record anything racist, anti-semitic, homophobic, sexist (etc) that has been said or written around the school. Here are some examples from the blog:

A note left at the Multiracial Resource Center

"No Niggers"  "Whites Only" 

When Rachel told me that this was happening at Oberlin, I could barely believe it. One of the things Oberlin is known for (and that Rachel takes pride in) is its acceptance and open-ness to all different types of people and walks of life. I was surprised that such blatantly racist, homophobic and anti-Semitic things were being done at a place like Oberlin.

I think these incidents are just more examples of how racism still exists today even though the Civil Rights Movement is "over" (I actually blogged about this topic a few weeks ago). Even in accepting places like Oberlin, where you would least expect it, people are still writing things like "whites only" above bathrooms.

I recommend that you take a look at the Oberlin Microagressions blog for more information and examples of marginalization at the college: http://obiemicroagressions.tumblr.com